People Watching...it's all about Relationships!

Last week we were given an assignment in our Performance Lab class to go to 2 locations and observe couples and how they interact with each other: body language, speech (if we could get close enough with them noticing) ups and downs in the conversations, comfort levels, energy levels, all that sort of stuff. Now we have to write a little response about what we saw, and I figured I would just share it will all of you too. Here are my thoughts...

I climb the TKTS steps at Times Square and notice an older couple also making their way up to the top of the red steps. There was a comfortable energy between them, not forced, and very relaxed. The man was leading was leading what looked to be his wife up the steps to find a spot to gaze over the Times Square cement meadow. The man found a stop near the top and gestured to another spot for his wife. She sat down right beside him, leaving a little bit of space. I call this the comfort zone. You could tell they had been together for a long time, because they didn't need to be all touchy-feely. They sat there for a good 20 minutes just pointing things out to each other. One would start talking about something over there, and then other would gesture and agree or contemplate what he or she thought about it. There was a calm ebb-and-flow to their conversation. It wasn't forced, but rather graceful. Silence was just as important as the conversations. There was almost more said when words weren't used. When they did speak, it was short quick comments, and then more observing. At one point I think they did notice me looking at them, but it didn't seem to phase them. (and i pretended to look at the Daniel Radcliff poster) It was very stereotypical in some ways, watching the man seem less interested in what was going on. But I think that was also his personality. He didn't get excited about anything, but was always listening to his wife. Sometimes we do more talking by listening! And they barely looked at each other. It's like they didn't need to. They both kept there focus out towards the crowd of people on the steps. It was as if they let the conversation discover them. When one of them noticed something that was going on, they weren't afraid to talk about it, or just comment on it. It was completely effortless.

Next I observed a family that had just sat down after what seemed to be a long day of site-seeing in NYC. I could really hear their conversation because most of it was choppy and it sounded like it could have been swedish or something. I heard some English, but then it would go back and forth between something else from across the pond. It was a mother, father, son and daughter and the mother was getting frustrated at the son for picking on his sister. I felt like I was watching a movie. These things actually happen. The idiot brother picks on his little sister and mom gets really mad, while dad is sitting there not paying attention. They were near the bottom steps and I can imagine once they got to the steps, they had no desire to climb any higher after the day they had wandering around NYC. The father was leaning back on his elbows, completely relaxed, just taking in the warm breeze. The mom, on the other hand, was still standing trying to organize her bag, wallet and map. (where were they, where were they going to go for supper, my goodness my feet hurt, and my back, and my neck is sunburnt, I want air conditioning, and food, and no children around; all thoughts that i'm sure were dashing around in her head. Yet she had to keep in all in tact. She held her ground got the kids to settle down. The boy really didn't want to stop teasing his younger sister, and kept untying her shoe laces every time she looked away. I thought it was hilarious, but she certainly didn't. It was funny watching her try to get him back. She couldn't because he was always ready for anything she attempted. Watching family's holds another kind of simplicity and chaos. The mom obviously was trying to calm her kids down, but at the same time, didn't care and probably just wanted to join her husband who seemed to be in another land. The kids were teasing each other, but it was pretty harmless. There was laughter and screams, and lots of touch. Touch is something I notice in kids. They are not afraid to touch each other; especially siblings. There is an ease and comfort when you watch two people who are comfortable touching each other, but not have it feel forced. It was never uncomfortable, it was just honest. I've seen this in other kids too. They don't seem to care about touch like we adults do. Sometimes I feel like we are afraid to touch because it makes people uncomfortable. How did we get here? We are human beings, we were made to touch, our instincts are to touch each other. Now don't misunderstand me, when I say touch, I mean a certain kind of touch. There are many forms of touch, and each carry's it's own energy. The comforting touch, the pushing touch, the excited touch, the quite touch, all forms of communication. Touch, or lack of touch is extremely powerful to watch. When you are watching a couple on a date, you the guy looking for the right time to put his hand on top of guy sitting across the table. (okay, yes I just used a gay reference, how could I not) Touch is what we long for!

After times square we moved on to Columbus Circle at 59th Street, right below Central Park, and sat by the fountain to do more observing. I first noticed two women sitting in front of me laughing about something. They were siting quite close together, and yet i couldn't tell if it was romantic or just close girlfriends. The one girl seemed like she wanted to be closer to the other, but neither were uncomfortable. It almost seemed like sisters, but they didn't look like each other at all. They were having a lovely conversation that seemed to flow effortlessly. There were peeks of laughter, and then lulls of silence, and then peeks of silence with some awkward laughs. It all depends how you look at it. They took out there camera at one point and started snapping some pictures. At this point one of the girls put her arm around the other, and kept it there for quite a while, as if she was holding her friend (or was it sister, or girlfriend) It was really confusing. The girl that was being held didn't seem to mind the semi hug, but didn't put her hand around her friends. My focus was pulled away from the girls when I noticed a couple starting to raise there voices. I looked over and it was a man and woman sitting with a good amount of space between them, but the woman was leaning in, as if she was trying to show something off. The man wanted nothing to do with it. He sat there looking straight ahead, as if he didn't even notice the woman. He would glance at her from time to time, but wasn't phased by her awkward position. They she all of a sudden pulled back and it looked like they were arguing. The intensity started to rise and he body language became louder. He was calm, and then all of a sudden he would raise his hands, or legs, and if making a statement. It actually looked a little bit like a temper tantrum; as if he were 5 years old. In seconds it got quite, almost dead, and then they sat in silence, the tension rising. Who was going to speak first? I noticed most of the conversation was instigated by the woman, so perhaps she had more at stake. She was trying really hard to work something out, but the man's body language read loud and clear, he didn't care. There was a moment when I thought this was brother and sister, but as I kept observing, I was certain they were either separated, in a fight, or even divorced. The energy was harsh and forced. Each movement was more of an outburst rather than a reaction. It didn't seem like there was a lot of listening going on between the two of them.

All this to say, relationships are simple yet so intricate. When you break it down and actually watch all the little details, it's fascinating to watch. And as an actor, it is incredibly helpful to think about the things I saw when I want to relate truthfully to my scene partner. The way I see others interact is similar to the way I should behave when I'm alone on stage, imagining I have a scene partner with me. There needs to be a honesty on stage whether you are with or without a scene partner. An audience can tell if you KNOW who you are talking to. How close are you to them? are you look at them or looking away? are you listening to them? Are you getting what you want? Are they listening to you? All of these questions inform the scene. and when we worry about those questions, the scene comes alive!

And there you have it ladies and gentlemen, People Watching has been brought to you by Me, Justin Friesen!! Have a lovely week, and take some time to pay attention to all the wonderful things that are happening around you!

Cheers,

TBC...

j