Thursday, July 19, 2012
Look who's back!
Well well well Justin! look who finally chose to come back! ME!!!!
No where to start, well it's exactly a year later. July 19, 2012, wow, that is crazy, exactly a year later and I'm back on this blog. This year it's a Wednesday, not a Tuesday! I am definitely excited to be back on the blog. I have been taking lots of videos with my iphone, so that is another part of this blogging that I am exciting to share with whoever is reading!! This thing better be able to have videos, cause that is going to be part of my new blogging/vlogging!!
I am going to sum up the last year in 4 words, why 4, because 4 is the number that first popped into my head. 4 words here I go...
SPACE
TIME
COMFORT
OVERCOME
COTS, SCOT, STOC, ETC...
I have learned to define my SPACE, I have a good relationship with TIME (I am open to continually changing, and evolving), I have come to find COMFORT in being ME, and I have OVERCOME some seriously challenges in my life over the past year. Being ME is awesome, and I am embracing that daily.
I am a currently living in Connecticut playing Link in Hairspray at the Ivoryton Playhouse. My dreams have become a reality!
And with that i will sign off and leave tomorrows post to write more about the events from July 19th 2011 to July 19th 2012.
As always, To Be Continued!
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
A little breather!
Hey ya'll (seems to be the way people greet each other in this country) I guess I'm learning something!
I know it's been a while since i last posted something, but I think the break was needed. Sometimes you just have to let go of a few things, and prioritize your life as it changes! What's happened since the last time I wrote something? lets see...I performed in a little cabaret night at the Don't Tell Mama Club, which was a ton of fun. I have to keep doing things like that. you just have to get out there and sing, the more you do, the more fun it's gonna be (if that makes sense at all) it does in my head. I also auditioned for Godspell, which is being revived on Broadway in the fall. There were 1000 people auditioning, and I got to sing a whole 8 bars. AMAZING. It was a great experience, and I thought it went really well. Who knows what they are even looking for, and I thought I looked like Jesus, with my lions mane! I recently did get a haircut, which is a good thing. I did love my golden locks, but it was time to tame them a bit. Dance class is much more comfortable, and to be honest, just living in this city is more comfortable. I believe a heat wave is coming, and I'm kinda excited. I've never really experience hot hot hot temperatures, with such humidity. It's going to be insane. Today was already boiling hot during the day. Luckily I'm in class most of the day, so I don't have to be outside during the hottest part of the day!
My roommate and I went to watch Bridesmaids, and Larry Crowne on the weekend. Both fantastic movies. Bridesmaids is just my kind of humour, so I laughed a lot, and Larry Crowne was so unexpected, and honest, I walked away wanting to watch it again! Julia and Tom are blessed together on screen!
School has been going wonderful. Always learning so much about myself, and about the business. Man, am I glad to have teachers that not only prepare you as an artist, but do everything they can to prepare you for the entire world of show business. It's not all about talent, that is pretty much only half of what you need to know. These teachers are giving us nuggets of gold, i tell you!! My voice is growing again, and I'm discovering new and delightful sounds. I have a better idea of where I want to keep working. A plan is always good. You may not follow it completely, in fact you might go completely off track, but at least you are starting somewhere that is important to you (me).
Tonight my roommate (KINGA) and I went to DIVA night at the club Industry. We met some awesome people and enjoyed a stunning set of music by 4 lovely diva's. They were magnificent. I don't even know what I could possibly say that could sum up their talent.
So now that it's 3:30 in the morning, I'd say, it's time to get to bed. More to come, as always in the life and times of Justin Friesen!
TBC...
J
I know it's been a while since i last posted something, but I think the break was needed. Sometimes you just have to let go of a few things, and prioritize your life as it changes! What's happened since the last time I wrote something? lets see...I performed in a little cabaret night at the Don't Tell Mama Club, which was a ton of fun. I have to keep doing things like that. you just have to get out there and sing, the more you do, the more fun it's gonna be (if that makes sense at all) it does in my head. I also auditioned for Godspell, which is being revived on Broadway in the fall. There were 1000 people auditioning, and I got to sing a whole 8 bars. AMAZING. It was a great experience, and I thought it went really well. Who knows what they are even looking for, and I thought I looked like Jesus, with my lions mane! I recently did get a haircut, which is a good thing. I did love my golden locks, but it was time to tame them a bit. Dance class is much more comfortable, and to be honest, just living in this city is more comfortable. I believe a heat wave is coming, and I'm kinda excited. I've never really experience hot hot hot temperatures, with such humidity. It's going to be insane. Today was already boiling hot during the day. Luckily I'm in class most of the day, so I don't have to be outside during the hottest part of the day!
My roommate and I went to watch Bridesmaids, and Larry Crowne on the weekend. Both fantastic movies. Bridesmaids is just my kind of humour, so I laughed a lot, and Larry Crowne was so unexpected, and honest, I walked away wanting to watch it again! Julia and Tom are blessed together on screen!
School has been going wonderful. Always learning so much about myself, and about the business. Man, am I glad to have teachers that not only prepare you as an artist, but do everything they can to prepare you for the entire world of show business. It's not all about talent, that is pretty much only half of what you need to know. These teachers are giving us nuggets of gold, i tell you!! My voice is growing again, and I'm discovering new and delightful sounds. I have a better idea of where I want to keep working. A plan is always good. You may not follow it completely, in fact you might go completely off track, but at least you are starting somewhere that is important to you (me).
Tonight my roommate (KINGA) and I went to DIVA night at the club Industry. We met some awesome people and enjoyed a stunning set of music by 4 lovely diva's. They were magnificent. I don't even know what I could possibly say that could sum up their talent.
So now that it's 3:30 in the morning, I'd say, it's time to get to bed. More to come, as always in the life and times of Justin Friesen!
TBC...
J
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
People Watching...it's all about Relationships!
Last week we were given an assignment in our Performance Lab class to go to 2 locations and observe couples and how they interact with each other: body language, speech (if we could get close enough with them noticing) ups and downs in the conversations, comfort levels, energy levels, all that sort of stuff. Now we have to write a little response about what we saw, and I figured I would just share it will all of you too. Here are my thoughts...
I climb the TKTS steps at Times Square and notice an older couple also making their way up to the top of the red steps. There was a comfortable energy between them, not forced, and very relaxed. The man was leading was leading what looked to be his wife up the steps to find a spot to gaze over the Times Square cement meadow. The man found a stop near the top and gestured to another spot for his wife. She sat down right beside him, leaving a little bit of space. I call this the comfort zone. You could tell they had been together for a long time, because they didn't need to be all touchy-feely. They sat there for a good 20 minutes just pointing things out to each other. One would start talking about something over there, and then other would gesture and agree or contemplate what he or she thought about it. There was a calm ebb-and-flow to their conversation. It wasn't forced, but rather graceful. Silence was just as important as the conversations. There was almost more said when words weren't used. When they did speak, it was short quick comments, and then more observing. At one point I think they did notice me looking at them, but it didn't seem to phase them. (and i pretended to look at the Daniel Radcliff poster) It was very stereotypical in some ways, watching the man seem less interested in what was going on. But I think that was also his personality. He didn't get excited about anything, but was always listening to his wife. Sometimes we do more talking by listening! And they barely looked at each other. It's like they didn't need to. They both kept there focus out towards the crowd of people on the steps. It was as if they let the conversation discover them. When one of them noticed something that was going on, they weren't afraid to talk about it, or just comment on it. It was completely effortless.
Next I observed a family that had just sat down after what seemed to be a long day of site-seeing in NYC. I could really hear their conversation because most of it was choppy and it sounded like it could have been swedish or something. I heard some English, but then it would go back and forth between something else from across the pond. It was a mother, father, son and daughter and the mother was getting frustrated at the son for picking on his sister. I felt like I was watching a movie. These things actually happen. The idiot brother picks on his little sister and mom gets really mad, while dad is sitting there not paying attention. They were near the bottom steps and I can imagine once they got to the steps, they had no desire to climb any higher after the day they had wandering around NYC. The father was leaning back on his elbows, completely relaxed, just taking in the warm breeze. The mom, on the other hand, was still standing trying to organize her bag, wallet and map. (where were they, where were they going to go for supper, my goodness my feet hurt, and my back, and my neck is sunburnt, I want air conditioning, and food, and no children around; all thoughts that i'm sure were dashing around in her head. Yet she had to keep in all in tact. She held her ground got the kids to settle down. The boy really didn't want to stop teasing his younger sister, and kept untying her shoe laces every time she looked away. I thought it was hilarious, but she certainly didn't. It was funny watching her try to get him back. She couldn't because he was always ready for anything she attempted. Watching family's holds another kind of simplicity and chaos. The mom obviously was trying to calm her kids down, but at the same time, didn't care and probably just wanted to join her husband who seemed to be in another land. The kids were teasing each other, but it was pretty harmless. There was laughter and screams, and lots of touch. Touch is something I notice in kids. They are not afraid to touch each other; especially siblings. There is an ease and comfort when you watch two people who are comfortable touching each other, but not have it feel forced. It was never uncomfortable, it was just honest. I've seen this in other kids too. They don't seem to care about touch like we adults do. Sometimes I feel like we are afraid to touch because it makes people uncomfortable. How did we get here? We are human beings, we were made to touch, our instincts are to touch each other. Now don't misunderstand me, when I say touch, I mean a certain kind of touch. There are many forms of touch, and each carry's it's own energy. The comforting touch, the pushing touch, the excited touch, the quite touch, all forms of communication. Touch, or lack of touch is extremely powerful to watch. When you are watching a couple on a date, you the guy looking for the right time to put his hand on top of guy sitting across the table. (okay, yes I just used a gay reference, how could I not) Touch is what we long for!
After times square we moved on to Columbus Circle at 59th Street, right below Central Park, and sat by the fountain to do more observing. I first noticed two women sitting in front of me laughing about something. They were siting quite close together, and yet i couldn't tell if it was romantic or just close girlfriends. The one girl seemed like she wanted to be closer to the other, but neither were uncomfortable. It almost seemed like sisters, but they didn't look like each other at all. They were having a lovely conversation that seemed to flow effortlessly. There were peeks of laughter, and then lulls of silence, and then peeks of silence with some awkward laughs. It all depends how you look at it. They took out there camera at one point and started snapping some pictures. At this point one of the girls put her arm around the other, and kept it there for quite a while, as if she was holding her friend (or was it sister, or girlfriend) It was really confusing. The girl that was being held didn't seem to mind the semi hug, but didn't put her hand around her friends. My focus was pulled away from the girls when I noticed a couple starting to raise there voices. I looked over and it was a man and woman sitting with a good amount of space between them, but the woman was leaning in, as if she was trying to show something off. The man wanted nothing to do with it. He sat there looking straight ahead, as if he didn't even notice the woman. He would glance at her from time to time, but wasn't phased by her awkward position. They she all of a sudden pulled back and it looked like they were arguing. The intensity started to rise and he body language became louder. He was calm, and then all of a sudden he would raise his hands, or legs, and if making a statement. It actually looked a little bit like a temper tantrum; as if he were 5 years old. In seconds it got quite, almost dead, and then they sat in silence, the tension rising. Who was going to speak first? I noticed most of the conversation was instigated by the woman, so perhaps she had more at stake. She was trying really hard to work something out, but the man's body language read loud and clear, he didn't care. There was a moment when I thought this was brother and sister, but as I kept observing, I was certain they were either separated, in a fight, or even divorced. The energy was harsh and forced. Each movement was more of an outburst rather than a reaction. It didn't seem like there was a lot of listening going on between the two of them.
All this to say, relationships are simple yet so intricate. When you break it down and actually watch all the little details, it's fascinating to watch. And as an actor, it is incredibly helpful to think about the things I saw when I want to relate truthfully to my scene partner. The way I see others interact is similar to the way I should behave when I'm alone on stage, imagining I have a scene partner with me. There needs to be a honesty on stage whether you are with or without a scene partner. An audience can tell if you KNOW who you are talking to. How close are you to them? are you look at them or looking away? are you listening to them? Are you getting what you want? Are they listening to you? All of these questions inform the scene. and when we worry about those questions, the scene comes alive!
And there you have it ladies and gentlemen, People Watching has been brought to you by Me, Justin Friesen!! Have a lovely week, and take some time to pay attention to all the wonderful things that are happening around you!
Cheers,
TBC...
j
I climb the TKTS steps at Times Square and notice an older couple also making their way up to the top of the red steps. There was a comfortable energy between them, not forced, and very relaxed. The man was leading was leading what looked to be his wife up the steps to find a spot to gaze over the Times Square cement meadow. The man found a stop near the top and gestured to another spot for his wife. She sat down right beside him, leaving a little bit of space. I call this the comfort zone. You could tell they had been together for a long time, because they didn't need to be all touchy-feely. They sat there for a good 20 minutes just pointing things out to each other. One would start talking about something over there, and then other would gesture and agree or contemplate what he or she thought about it. There was a calm ebb-and-flow to their conversation. It wasn't forced, but rather graceful. Silence was just as important as the conversations. There was almost more said when words weren't used. When they did speak, it was short quick comments, and then more observing. At one point I think they did notice me looking at them, but it didn't seem to phase them. (and i pretended to look at the Daniel Radcliff poster) It was very stereotypical in some ways, watching the man seem less interested in what was going on. But I think that was also his personality. He didn't get excited about anything, but was always listening to his wife. Sometimes we do more talking by listening! And they barely looked at each other. It's like they didn't need to. They both kept there focus out towards the crowd of people on the steps. It was as if they let the conversation discover them. When one of them noticed something that was going on, they weren't afraid to talk about it, or just comment on it. It was completely effortless.
Next I observed a family that had just sat down after what seemed to be a long day of site-seeing in NYC. I could really hear their conversation because most of it was choppy and it sounded like it could have been swedish or something. I heard some English, but then it would go back and forth between something else from across the pond. It was a mother, father, son and daughter and the mother was getting frustrated at the son for picking on his sister. I felt like I was watching a movie. These things actually happen. The idiot brother picks on his little sister and mom gets really mad, while dad is sitting there not paying attention. They were near the bottom steps and I can imagine once they got to the steps, they had no desire to climb any higher after the day they had wandering around NYC. The father was leaning back on his elbows, completely relaxed, just taking in the warm breeze. The mom, on the other hand, was still standing trying to organize her bag, wallet and map. (where were they, where were they going to go for supper, my goodness my feet hurt, and my back, and my neck is sunburnt, I want air conditioning, and food, and no children around; all thoughts that i'm sure were dashing around in her head. Yet she had to keep in all in tact. She held her ground got the kids to settle down. The boy really didn't want to stop teasing his younger sister, and kept untying her shoe laces every time she looked away. I thought it was hilarious, but she certainly didn't. It was funny watching her try to get him back. She couldn't because he was always ready for anything she attempted. Watching family's holds another kind of simplicity and chaos. The mom obviously was trying to calm her kids down, but at the same time, didn't care and probably just wanted to join her husband who seemed to be in another land. The kids were teasing each other, but it was pretty harmless. There was laughter and screams, and lots of touch. Touch is something I notice in kids. They are not afraid to touch each other; especially siblings. There is an ease and comfort when you watch two people who are comfortable touching each other, but not have it feel forced. It was never uncomfortable, it was just honest. I've seen this in other kids too. They don't seem to care about touch like we adults do. Sometimes I feel like we are afraid to touch because it makes people uncomfortable. How did we get here? We are human beings, we were made to touch, our instincts are to touch each other. Now don't misunderstand me, when I say touch, I mean a certain kind of touch. There are many forms of touch, and each carry's it's own energy. The comforting touch, the pushing touch, the excited touch, the quite touch, all forms of communication. Touch, or lack of touch is extremely powerful to watch. When you are watching a couple on a date, you the guy looking for the right time to put his hand on top of guy sitting across the table. (okay, yes I just used a gay reference, how could I not) Touch is what we long for!
After times square we moved on to Columbus Circle at 59th Street, right below Central Park, and sat by the fountain to do more observing. I first noticed two women sitting in front of me laughing about something. They were siting quite close together, and yet i couldn't tell if it was romantic or just close girlfriends. The one girl seemed like she wanted to be closer to the other, but neither were uncomfortable. It almost seemed like sisters, but they didn't look like each other at all. They were having a lovely conversation that seemed to flow effortlessly. There were peeks of laughter, and then lulls of silence, and then peeks of silence with some awkward laughs. It all depends how you look at it. They took out there camera at one point and started snapping some pictures. At this point one of the girls put her arm around the other, and kept it there for quite a while, as if she was holding her friend (or was it sister, or girlfriend) It was really confusing. The girl that was being held didn't seem to mind the semi hug, but didn't put her hand around her friends. My focus was pulled away from the girls when I noticed a couple starting to raise there voices. I looked over and it was a man and woman sitting with a good amount of space between them, but the woman was leaning in, as if she was trying to show something off. The man wanted nothing to do with it. He sat there looking straight ahead, as if he didn't even notice the woman. He would glance at her from time to time, but wasn't phased by her awkward position. They she all of a sudden pulled back and it looked like they were arguing. The intensity started to rise and he body language became louder. He was calm, and then all of a sudden he would raise his hands, or legs, and if making a statement. It actually looked a little bit like a temper tantrum; as if he were 5 years old. In seconds it got quite, almost dead, and then they sat in silence, the tension rising. Who was going to speak first? I noticed most of the conversation was instigated by the woman, so perhaps she had more at stake. She was trying really hard to work something out, but the man's body language read loud and clear, he didn't care. There was a moment when I thought this was brother and sister, but as I kept observing, I was certain they were either separated, in a fight, or even divorced. The energy was harsh and forced. Each movement was more of an outburst rather than a reaction. It didn't seem like there was a lot of listening going on between the two of them.
All this to say, relationships are simple yet so intricate. When you break it down and actually watch all the little details, it's fascinating to watch. And as an actor, it is incredibly helpful to think about the things I saw when I want to relate truthfully to my scene partner. The way I see others interact is similar to the way I should behave when I'm alone on stage, imagining I have a scene partner with me. There needs to be a honesty on stage whether you are with or without a scene partner. An audience can tell if you KNOW who you are talking to. How close are you to them? are you look at them or looking away? are you listening to them? Are you getting what you want? Are they listening to you? All of these questions inform the scene. and when we worry about those questions, the scene comes alive!
And there you have it ladies and gentlemen, People Watching has been brought to you by Me, Justin Friesen!! Have a lovely week, and take some time to pay attention to all the wonderful things that are happening around you!
Cheers,
TBC...
j
Sunday, July 3, 2011
A LITTLE LATE FOR THIS...but so worth it!
Hi all you crazy's who might actually be reading this...
It's late, bit this is important and I need to write it out of my head, giving space for me development of what I'm about to write.
I was fortunate enough to have more friends visit me here in New York. Leo and Pete (and their friend Lexis, whom I now adore as well) arrived on Wednesday morning at approx 6:15 in the morning. I learned a very helpful life lesson that morning, one that I didn't expect would hit me so clearly on the head that early in the morning, but I think our brains our different in the morning. They are closer to having been in Unconscious world, which is a fun and crazy place to be, I THINK! Well, Leo and Pete and I didn't really plan this pick up very well, because what ended up happening wasn't what I had in mind. I got up late, and thought to myself, I really don't need to pick them up from the bus station, I should just tell them how to get here, and that will be fine. But my once stubborn and controlling self decided NO, I NEEDED to HELP them. So I did. I took the train to Port Authority and waited for them on the platform. Without my knowledge, or through miss communication, they jumped onto the train and headed to my place. Only while crossing the Williamsburg Bridge did they get my text saying I was waiting on the Platform still. AHHHH, my head screamed with frustration. THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING. I tried SO hard to help them. Which is exactly the point of the story. So i got back on the next train and headed home to Brooklyn. I couldn't find them when I got to my station so I figured they probably just found my house, because I had given them my address. NO, not the case, when I walked home I got a text saying they were at the McDonalds across the street from the Subway. So I turned around, AGAIN, and went to get them. I know this story may seem ridiculous to you, and it should. That's how it feels to me too. How much more ridiculous could I have been. (well I could have brought my cats with me, that would have been more ridiculous) but you get the point. I have been using this confidence to my advantage for a long time now, and it's done me well. It's part of what's gotten me to New York. But let me tell you something amazing, it's not all of me. There is so much more to Justin Friesen than being confident. Justin is also sensitive, he is brave, he is intelligent, he is scared, he is quite, timid, shy, awkward, talented, crazy, ridiculous, open, honest, accepting, and much much more. It's fascinating how attached I was to this confidence and flirtatious personality, mostly because it got me what I want. I don't think this is a bad thing, but this one little morning lesson was the tipping point for me. It had been building for a few weeks now, and finally I had to face it. What a relief it is, to know I don't always have to be flirtatious and confident. I can be a human being, and that is my goal each day. I really like the idea of trying on new qualities, be bold one day, be quite another, try listening extra hard one day, trying being opinionated one day, try anything you can think of. It's a much more exciting way to live, I think!
In addition to this wonderful life lesson, I was also inspired beyond what words can say, even though they have icebergs below them. (I believe words are nothing and everything. They are like the Titanic hitting an iceberg. You think it's just a word, but then you realize how big the iceberg is underneath. Words mean so many things to each of us) - MOVING ON - I went to see a show on Friday night called Masterclass. It featured Tyne Daly, and if you haven't seen her, she is brilliant on stage. You will recognize the face. I've attached a picture!
This show was all about Maria Callas, the famous opera singer. I will also attach a youtube link. This woman was called La Divine. She was unbelievable to watch on stage. Her performances were unlike anything before her. She took the music and the score to a whole new level, redefining what it meant to be an Opera Singer. Many didn't always agree with her BOLD choices, but you couldn't take your eyes off her. She was spectacular, and her vocal chords were basically made of steal. She could sing anything she wanted, from Colouratura to dramatic soprano, to Mezzo Soprano. She did it all! And then she lost her voice when she couldn't have the man she really loved. Slowly she lost her voice. In the show she said she lost her Necessity to sing, which was really the reason her voice could do what it did. She had no reason to sing anymore, and I think it was very closely related to that fact that she lost the love of her life. Feelings and emotions are so much a part of what we as entertainers do on stage. This seems obvious to say out loud, but it's a very important thing for an performer to remember. People don't care about the voice, or the acting, or the dancing, so long as there is a story being communicated and real emotions are being expressed. I've said it before, acting is reacting truthfully in imaginary circumstances. In truthful circumstances we are real human beings with real feelings. It is the singers job to find the real emotion in the music. It's all in the music. That is our roadmap to the X. And the journey should be like a treasure hunt, with ups and downs. The singer, actor, dancer, doesn't need to do anything more that search for all the answers in the score, or script, or choreography. It's all there. As a singer, I have been trained (from as far back as being in my mummy's belly) how to listen to music. I spent four years in university listening and analyzing music. This is second nature to me, and yet I don't feel like I've been using it to my fullest potential yet while being in NYC. Well, that's enough of that. This is why I was so moved by Maria Callas and her masterclass, it's all in the music. Out of respect for the Composer and Lyricist, we must do everything we can to honour the music. Let it be bold, let it be miraculous, let is change peoples lives, and let it represent what the composer had in his or her brain. AHHHHH, i can no longer look at a piece of music the same, ever again. I must strive to uncover what the composer was thinking, and then incorporate that into all of my singing and performing. There is no reason to work so hard at making it amazing. The composer wrote it amazing, so if I follow the score and I will be amazing and it will be me, Justin Friesen, because I am singing it! Simple as that!! It's always simple, it is, truly. The answers are always right underneath my nose!
Thank you Maria Callas for reigniting the flame. It's time to really pay attention and live in the necessity to sing, act and dance!!
TCB...
j
Saturday, June 25, 2011
With Tears still in my eyes!
I had to document this moment before it passed and so without time to dry the tears from my eyes, I'm writing this post. It's time to do it. I mean, I'm already doing it, I've been doing it my whole life. But it's time to stand up proudly, and live out the rest of my life as Justin Friesen. I know this is sort of a bizarre thought, but when you have had to take a moment to step back from yourself, and see what it really going on, this moment, the moment of re-entry, feels like jumping back into my life. The tears still wet on my cheek, are from a series I just watched, thanks to the OWN network (my dear Oprah, you continue to change my life) It was a series called "Why Not, with Shania Twain." I had been putting off watching it, because I was just "TOO BUSY" not a good enough excuse. Finally, after a giant push from my beautiful sister, who couldn't get enough of this series, I finally took the plunge and watched all 6 episodes in the last 2 days. Hearing Shania talk about all the pain and loss in her life, the break up of her marriage, finding a new love, and discovering how much she loves what she does, it all hit my heart right in the middle of the bullseye. I think it so easy to relate to this story because I too have felt like a lot of things are changing in my life, and quickly. Obviously I didn't loose my spouse, and all those other details involved in Shania's story, but when someone opens up, as humans we connected the dots of someone else life, and then parallel them to our own life (that is kinda like this, and this moment is kinda like that one, ohhhh, and that is totally how I felt when this happened to me, man alive, I swear I said that to myself too when this happened to me, or when i realized that) All these thoughts run through my brain, and I accept her feelings and emotions and relate them to my own life when I've felt those same emotions, or pushed certain emotions away. Shania's journey of asking herself why not do it, has opened her up to the world. She forced herself to do things that she was so uncomfortable doing, but she did them anyways, with vigour. It was so inspiring to watch. Now I know, she's Shania Twain, of course she can do it, that is was we all think, but this series really dug deep into the mind of Mrs. Twain, and shed light on many parts of her life that she kept completely silent. To see her struggle, to see her push, to see her battle with herself. These are all things any performer can relate too. She was saying words that have come straight out of my own head.
During the final episode she sings a duet with Lionel Richie, and it seriously blew me away. She said, after trying it quite a few times, "well, I'm just going to have to sing it like Shania would." And it hit me, I don't have to sound like anyone else. This is something I have been told before, but sometimes we don't accept information because we aren't ready to hear it. It's been a constant challenge accepting the voice that comes out of my body, sometimes i love it, sometimes i hate it. Today, I am accepting it, with love and light and laughter. I am accepting it and am going to use it, "Just like Justin Friesen would use it." It is my unique sound, no one else has it. Just ME. Isn't that amazing!! AHHHHHHH. How freaken exciting it that. Every time I open my mouth, it doesn't sound like anyone but ME!!!! OH my goodness, what a relief. I feel so much weight lifted off my shoulders. It doesn't have to be anything but me. I feel like I could shout that over all the rooftops in Brooklyn!!
The tears have dried now, but I still have the emotion surging through my body. To let yourself feel the emotion, for me, is half the battle. That right there is the ability to drop into, and accept the moment that is happening. When you let the emotion take over, your accepting where your body, mind and spirit are taking you! I have become so good at being the confident, nice, kind Justin Friesen, that when different parts of me shine through, I cover them up and make sure people only see what I want them to see. And it's worked this far, because the light that I let shine through is ONLY happy, kind, confident, easy going, and warm. Who doesn't want to be around that, AIHHHHHH, wrong, that can get fake and people start to read that. My teacher said to me, you have these more obvious qualities that radiate out of you, but what about the ones that you hide, those ones are just as important. They are what will make you YOU. What about the emotional Justin, or the Justin that gets annoyed with people, or the Justin that wants to throw things around sometimes because he can't handle how much people put themselves down, how much he puts himself down, AHHHHHH, or the Justin that wants to be chill for one night, or the Justin that wants to be sexy, or the Justin that just wants to be Justin! There is so much light to let through, and that is what the world wants to see. That is why I react when I see Shania Twain opening up to all of her fans and supporters, and it inspires me to sing all the different songs from my heart too! I am going to sing my song, in whatever key i want, and it's going to feel amazing. Today is My Day, and nothing can stand in my Way!!
There you go universe. My two precious cents for this, June 25th 2011, in my apartment in Brooklyn! (you don't know how long I've waited to write that, permanently) STAMP!!
TBC...
J
During the final episode she sings a duet with Lionel Richie, and it seriously blew me away. She said, after trying it quite a few times, "well, I'm just going to have to sing it like Shania would." And it hit me, I don't have to sound like anyone else. This is something I have been told before, but sometimes we don't accept information because we aren't ready to hear it. It's been a constant challenge accepting the voice that comes out of my body, sometimes i love it, sometimes i hate it. Today, I am accepting it, with love and light and laughter. I am accepting it and am going to use it, "Just like Justin Friesen would use it." It is my unique sound, no one else has it. Just ME. Isn't that amazing!! AHHHHHHH. How freaken exciting it that. Every time I open my mouth, it doesn't sound like anyone but ME!!!! OH my goodness, what a relief. I feel so much weight lifted off my shoulders. It doesn't have to be anything but me. I feel like I could shout that over all the rooftops in Brooklyn!!
The tears have dried now, but I still have the emotion surging through my body. To let yourself feel the emotion, for me, is half the battle. That right there is the ability to drop into, and accept the moment that is happening. When you let the emotion take over, your accepting where your body, mind and spirit are taking you! I have become so good at being the confident, nice, kind Justin Friesen, that when different parts of me shine through, I cover them up and make sure people only see what I want them to see. And it's worked this far, because the light that I let shine through is ONLY happy, kind, confident, easy going, and warm. Who doesn't want to be around that, AIHHHHHH, wrong, that can get fake and people start to read that. My teacher said to me, you have these more obvious qualities that radiate out of you, but what about the ones that you hide, those ones are just as important. They are what will make you YOU. What about the emotional Justin, or the Justin that gets annoyed with people, or the Justin that wants to throw things around sometimes because he can't handle how much people put themselves down, how much he puts himself down, AHHHHHH, or the Justin that wants to be chill for one night, or the Justin that wants to be sexy, or the Justin that just wants to be Justin! There is so much light to let through, and that is what the world wants to see. That is why I react when I see Shania Twain opening up to all of her fans and supporters, and it inspires me to sing all the different songs from my heart too! I am going to sing my song, in whatever key i want, and it's going to feel amazing. Today is My Day, and nothing can stand in my Way!!
There you go universe. My two precious cents for this, June 25th 2011, in my apartment in Brooklyn! (you don't know how long I've waited to write that, permanently) STAMP!!
TBC...
J
Friday, June 24, 2011
Practically Perfect...in every way!
My dear blog readers, (and the universe that is always with us)
I can't believe how satisfying it is to clean up. Today I have a new roommate for the month on July. KINGA will be living with me, as my other roommate takes a leave to teach in another country. KINGA also attends the New York Film Academy, and we have become dear friends over the course of our program. She gets me, and I get her. It just works, and we love it!! I am so thankful to have a friend like her. So down to earth, kind, warm, beautiful inside and out, and much much more! I am so excited to be living together and I think it's going to work wonderfully. I know the whole roommate situation can be really hard on relationships sometimes, but Kinga and I run the same way! Today we spend the afternoon and evening cleaning, and boy did that feel good. The apartment feels different already. I just feel better knowing that things are organized, even if I can't see them. I truly don't know how to compare the satisfying feeling of cleaning something up, to anything else in life! It evokes such happiness in my heart.
Switching gears a little, I was talking to a friend Leo, who is coming to visit me in New York with his boyfriend and another friend and he asked me how things are going here in New York. In the heat of the moment, I said things were going great. The generic answer, which isn't untrue, but it doesn't hold any weight, and isn't really how I was feeling. Over the last month, and more specifically, the last week, I have really started to pay attention to what my life looks like from an arial view. How do people perceive me? How do I react, and act in a plethera of circumstances? How do I live in the now? How do I drop into a circumstance in order to accept the character I am playing in a certain scene? How do I live a normal life in New York City, as a farm boy? How do I be true to myself? All of these questions were spinning around, as I looked at myself from up above. It was such a crazy month. I was still enjoying classes, but found myself not wanting to be at school as much. After 5 months friendships start to change and evolve, which isn't bad, it's just part of our nature. We have to grow or else we will die. It's pretty simple when you think about it. And sometimes with growth comes discomfort, and that is okay. It doesn't make it easy, it's just okay, and I know I will get through it. Despite the discomfort, amazing things have happened to me over the past month. All in one night I went to a Broadway Inspiration Voices concert, which was basically like being in the Sister Act 2 movie, times 10, for 3 hours. It was so incredibly moving, and then from there I went to the Broadway Bares fundraiser for aids, which once again, made me remember that I am infact in New York City, and this kind of energy doesn't happen just anywhere. I am here for a reason, and it's never felt so right! Anyways, back to the reason this has all come up. Leo asked me how I was doing, and I said great. Awesome okay, nothing to crazy about that, but this is the beauty of feeling like you are exactly where you want to be, it's never a normal week. Even when I expect, from habits or the past, that it's just going to be a normal week, it never is. I saw to amazing shows last Sunday, and then on Tuesday, my life was once again transformed when I got picked from the Wicked lottery to see the show front row. I mean, come on. This is a show that I will be playing a role in as soon as possible. I absolutely loved it. The music, the acting, the staging, it's such a well oiled machine, and yet it has so much depth and heart. This is truly because everyone, and I mean everyone: from costume, to automation, to carpentry, to scenic design, to stage management, to actors, to choreographers, directors, and producers, to the guy who sweeps the stage before each show, it's all done with amazing passion and vigour. These people know they are apart of something extremely special. it's so much more than what we see on the stage. The magic is released because of all the behind the scenes people. Wow, it was such a magical experience. Something I will never forget!
Each week is never just normal. I also discovered the ability to drop into a circumstance when I sing a song. I never had a problem imagining things, but it's believing the situation your in that is my challenge. I know that it's not necessarily real, and even if it was, I would not let it phase me, so I wouldn't have to deal with emotion. I finally dropped in, and felt it, and it made everything better. This is the exciting work, I have been longing to be apart of. It's freaking amazing!! That is all i have to say.
I must get to bed, okay folks. ENJOY!!
TBC...
J
I can't believe how satisfying it is to clean up. Today I have a new roommate for the month on July. KINGA will be living with me, as my other roommate takes a leave to teach in another country. KINGA also attends the New York Film Academy, and we have become dear friends over the course of our program. She gets me, and I get her. It just works, and we love it!! I am so thankful to have a friend like her. So down to earth, kind, warm, beautiful inside and out, and much much more! I am so excited to be living together and I think it's going to work wonderfully. I know the whole roommate situation can be really hard on relationships sometimes, but Kinga and I run the same way! Today we spend the afternoon and evening cleaning, and boy did that feel good. The apartment feels different already. I just feel better knowing that things are organized, even if I can't see them. I truly don't know how to compare the satisfying feeling of cleaning something up, to anything else in life! It evokes such happiness in my heart.
Switching gears a little, I was talking to a friend Leo, who is coming to visit me in New York with his boyfriend and another friend and he asked me how things are going here in New York. In the heat of the moment, I said things were going great. The generic answer, which isn't untrue, but it doesn't hold any weight, and isn't really how I was feeling. Over the last month, and more specifically, the last week, I have really started to pay attention to what my life looks like from an arial view. How do people perceive me? How do I react, and act in a plethera of circumstances? How do I live in the now? How do I drop into a circumstance in order to accept the character I am playing in a certain scene? How do I live a normal life in New York City, as a farm boy? How do I be true to myself? All of these questions were spinning around, as I looked at myself from up above. It was such a crazy month. I was still enjoying classes, but found myself not wanting to be at school as much. After 5 months friendships start to change and evolve, which isn't bad, it's just part of our nature. We have to grow or else we will die. It's pretty simple when you think about it. And sometimes with growth comes discomfort, and that is okay. It doesn't make it easy, it's just okay, and I know I will get through it. Despite the discomfort, amazing things have happened to me over the past month. All in one night I went to a Broadway Inspiration Voices concert, which was basically like being in the Sister Act 2 movie, times 10, for 3 hours. It was so incredibly moving, and then from there I went to the Broadway Bares fundraiser for aids, which once again, made me remember that I am infact in New York City, and this kind of energy doesn't happen just anywhere. I am here for a reason, and it's never felt so right! Anyways, back to the reason this has all come up. Leo asked me how I was doing, and I said great. Awesome okay, nothing to crazy about that, but this is the beauty of feeling like you are exactly where you want to be, it's never a normal week. Even when I expect, from habits or the past, that it's just going to be a normal week, it never is. I saw to amazing shows last Sunday, and then on Tuesday, my life was once again transformed when I got picked from the Wicked lottery to see the show front row. I mean, come on. This is a show that I will be playing a role in as soon as possible. I absolutely loved it. The music, the acting, the staging, it's such a well oiled machine, and yet it has so much depth and heart. This is truly because everyone, and I mean everyone: from costume, to automation, to carpentry, to scenic design, to stage management, to actors, to choreographers, directors, and producers, to the guy who sweeps the stage before each show, it's all done with amazing passion and vigour. These people know they are apart of something extremely special. it's so much more than what we see on the stage. The magic is released because of all the behind the scenes people. Wow, it was such a magical experience. Something I will never forget!
Each week is never just normal. I also discovered the ability to drop into a circumstance when I sing a song. I never had a problem imagining things, but it's believing the situation your in that is my challenge. I know that it's not necessarily real, and even if it was, I would not let it phase me, so I wouldn't have to deal with emotion. I finally dropped in, and felt it, and it made everything better. This is the exciting work, I have been longing to be apart of. It's freaking amazing!! That is all i have to say.
I must get to bed, okay folks. ENJOY!!
TBC...
J
Monday, June 20, 2011
All is well in Justin Land!
Well folks,
Tonight has been a memorable one, that is all I can say in words. I almost don't know where to begin. I guess I should start at the beginning, a very good place to start (thanks Maria). This past week I was asked, along with 3 more of my classmates, to participate in the 7th inning stretch fundraiser for a local Hoboken Theatre Company. Every year they do a baseball themed night of theatre (10 minute pieces). Each year there are commissioned by local writers and then performed as a fundraising event. I discovered a new love: Hoboken, which is just across the Hudson River, in New Jersey. It's like a smaller, quiter, Manhattan, just across the river (just around the riverbend: Thanks Pocahotus) The whole experience was wonderful. The cast of our play was so much fun to work with, and I really loved performing our play. It had heart and was still really funny! With Baseball as the theme, the playwright chose a high school setting with a crazy teacher, a nerd, a few dumb jocks, and some pretty high school girls. The nerd brings in a presentation for someone that inspires him. He choses Charlie Waitt, the man you invented the baseball glove. Now when baseball started, no one use gloves, and there were injuries left right and centre, so Charlie thought of using a glove to protect his hands from getting hurt so often. Seems obvious, but it took 21 years for people to catch on, and stop calling him Sissy, queer, fagot, and a whole slew of other degrading words. People wanted to be tough, but in the end they were just to preoccupied trying to look cool, and as a result they were injured all the time. Finally people started following Charlie's trend and now we would never think to play baseball without gloves. It was such a cute little story, but had great heart and courage! I was very proud to be apart of something that meant something to me personally. So that was a huge part of my week and weekend.
I've also been viewing the world from a different angle these last few weeks. It's been a growing experience, to say the least. These things tend to creep up on us, when we least expect it. It's amazing when you look back , and wonder how you lived any other way then the way you are living now. I look back to before i came out of the closet and I think, WOW, how did I even do that, and even looking back to life before NYC, how did I do that. Sometimes it's incredibly important to take a step back and take the birds eye view of yourself, not an easy thing to do. you basically have to look at yourself from everyone else's perspective. How are other people viewing you. To clarity a little, I don't mean you have to worry yourself to the enth degree about how people are judging you, but it's good to know how you are being read. Sometimes we loose sight of who we are, this is just the human condition. We aren't perfect, and sometimes we put a lot of focus on one thing and then forget about another thing, something that we care about a lot but didn't notice we were neglecting. We often focus on certain parts of our lives, in search for a balance. I think the balance comes when you surrender to the power of the universe (or whatever you believe is greater than we are) I think that it is the grace of that which is Higher, that allows us to find balance in our lives. My mom reminded me of the word grace, and how important it is. I don't think I've ever really understood it, despite hearing it all my life in church. Grace; it's not quite the same ask thankfulness and gratefulness. Grace is surrounded by trust, humility, peace, love, respect and honesty. Grace is something we give and receive through love! It is a gift. Tonight I went to the Broadway Inspirational Voices concert, and I was literally knock of my rocker. I mean, literally, I don't even know what to say. It was a cleanse, it was a rejuvenation, it was a dunk in the deep end of the water, it was powerful, mighty, joyful and courageous!! The choir was made up of broadway stars, and they were raising their voices to the LORD, AMEN. It brought me back to my roots. All I could think about was my mennonite roots and RJC, and CMU, and my home church. All those memories came a flooding back. It was a great reminder of where I come from, and what I am still connected to. It gives me a solid ground to stand on, and I am so grateful for that. The music stirred my soul and re lit a flame of passion, openness, determination, grace, love and joy. Joy in what I do, Joy in being me, joy in loving others, joy in all the emotions we feel everyday (happy, sad, mad, angry, annoyed, mortified, nervous, scared, exuberant, brilliant) All of these emotions are apart of everyday, and we need to let them surface.
After the concert I, along with some friends, went to the Broadway Bare 21st fundraiser for Broadway Care/Equity Fights Aids. Without going into too much detail, i have to say it literally changed my life. The fearlessness of all the dancers and performers was, once more, incredibly inspiring, and a reminder than I can, and need to do the same. Let was is most deep within out into the world. Share the you that we often keep at home behind closed doors. I challenge you and myself to open your front door and walk out with the you that is inside you, being transparent with the world. Allowing your inner self to lead you!
That is my prayer for the week. Take care, ya'll!!
LOVE LIGHT AND LAUGHTER
TBC...
j
Tonight has been a memorable one, that is all I can say in words. I almost don't know where to begin. I guess I should start at the beginning, a very good place to start (thanks Maria). This past week I was asked, along with 3 more of my classmates, to participate in the 7th inning stretch fundraiser for a local Hoboken Theatre Company. Every year they do a baseball themed night of theatre (10 minute pieces). Each year there are commissioned by local writers and then performed as a fundraising event. I discovered a new love: Hoboken, which is just across the Hudson River, in New Jersey. It's like a smaller, quiter, Manhattan, just across the river (just around the riverbend: Thanks Pocahotus) The whole experience was wonderful. The cast of our play was so much fun to work with, and I really loved performing our play. It had heart and was still really funny! With Baseball as the theme, the playwright chose a high school setting with a crazy teacher, a nerd, a few dumb jocks, and some pretty high school girls. The nerd brings in a presentation for someone that inspires him. He choses Charlie Waitt, the man you invented the baseball glove. Now when baseball started, no one use gloves, and there were injuries left right and centre, so Charlie thought of using a glove to protect his hands from getting hurt so often. Seems obvious, but it took 21 years for people to catch on, and stop calling him Sissy, queer, fagot, and a whole slew of other degrading words. People wanted to be tough, but in the end they were just to preoccupied trying to look cool, and as a result they were injured all the time. Finally people started following Charlie's trend and now we would never think to play baseball without gloves. It was such a cute little story, but had great heart and courage! I was very proud to be apart of something that meant something to me personally. So that was a huge part of my week and weekend.
I've also been viewing the world from a different angle these last few weeks. It's been a growing experience, to say the least. These things tend to creep up on us, when we least expect it. It's amazing when you look back , and wonder how you lived any other way then the way you are living now. I look back to before i came out of the closet and I think, WOW, how did I even do that, and even looking back to life before NYC, how did I do that. Sometimes it's incredibly important to take a step back and take the birds eye view of yourself, not an easy thing to do. you basically have to look at yourself from everyone else's perspective. How are other people viewing you. To clarity a little, I don't mean you have to worry yourself to the enth degree about how people are judging you, but it's good to know how you are being read. Sometimes we loose sight of who we are, this is just the human condition. We aren't perfect, and sometimes we put a lot of focus on one thing and then forget about another thing, something that we care about a lot but didn't notice we were neglecting. We often focus on certain parts of our lives, in search for a balance. I think the balance comes when you surrender to the power of the universe (or whatever you believe is greater than we are) I think that it is the grace of that which is Higher, that allows us to find balance in our lives. My mom reminded me of the word grace, and how important it is. I don't think I've ever really understood it, despite hearing it all my life in church. Grace; it's not quite the same ask thankfulness and gratefulness. Grace is surrounded by trust, humility, peace, love, respect and honesty. Grace is something we give and receive through love! It is a gift. Tonight I went to the Broadway Inspirational Voices concert, and I was literally knock of my rocker. I mean, literally, I don't even know what to say. It was a cleanse, it was a rejuvenation, it was a dunk in the deep end of the water, it was powerful, mighty, joyful and courageous!! The choir was made up of broadway stars, and they were raising their voices to the LORD, AMEN. It brought me back to my roots. All I could think about was my mennonite roots and RJC, and CMU, and my home church. All those memories came a flooding back. It was a great reminder of where I come from, and what I am still connected to. It gives me a solid ground to stand on, and I am so grateful for that. The music stirred my soul and re lit a flame of passion, openness, determination, grace, love and joy. Joy in what I do, Joy in being me, joy in loving others, joy in all the emotions we feel everyday (happy, sad, mad, angry, annoyed, mortified, nervous, scared, exuberant, brilliant) All of these emotions are apart of everyday, and we need to let them surface.
After the concert I, along with some friends, went to the Broadway Bare 21st fundraiser for Broadway Care/Equity Fights Aids. Without going into too much detail, i have to say it literally changed my life. The fearlessness of all the dancers and performers was, once more, incredibly inspiring, and a reminder than I can, and need to do the same. Let was is most deep within out into the world. Share the you that we often keep at home behind closed doors. I challenge you and myself to open your front door and walk out with the you that is inside you, being transparent with the world. Allowing your inner self to lead you!
That is my prayer for the week. Take care, ya'll!!
LOVE LIGHT AND LAUGHTER
TBC...
j
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