My dear blog readers, (and the universe that is always with us)
I can't believe how satisfying it is to clean up. Today I have a new roommate for the month on July. KINGA will be living with me, as my other roommate takes a leave to teach in another country. KINGA also attends the New York Film Academy, and we have become dear friends over the course of our program. She gets me, and I get her. It just works, and we love it!! I am so thankful to have a friend like her. So down to earth, kind, warm, beautiful inside and out, and much much more! I am so excited to be living together and I think it's going to work wonderfully. I know the whole roommate situation can be really hard on relationships sometimes, but Kinga and I run the same way! Today we spend the afternoon and evening cleaning, and boy did that feel good. The apartment feels different already. I just feel better knowing that things are organized, even if I can't see them. I truly don't know how to compare the satisfying feeling of cleaning something up, to anything else in life! It evokes such happiness in my heart.
Switching gears a little, I was talking to a friend Leo, who is coming to visit me in New York with his boyfriend and another friend and he asked me how things are going here in New York. In the heat of the moment, I said things were going great. The generic answer, which isn't untrue, but it doesn't hold any weight, and isn't really how I was feeling. Over the last month, and more specifically, the last week, I have really started to pay attention to what my life looks like from an arial view. How do people perceive me? How do I react, and act in a plethera of circumstances? How do I live in the now? How do I drop into a circumstance in order to accept the character I am playing in a certain scene? How do I live a normal life in New York City, as a farm boy? How do I be true to myself? All of these questions were spinning around, as I looked at myself from up above. It was such a crazy month. I was still enjoying classes, but found myself not wanting to be at school as much. After 5 months friendships start to change and evolve, which isn't bad, it's just part of our nature. We have to grow or else we will die. It's pretty simple when you think about it. And sometimes with growth comes discomfort, and that is okay. It doesn't make it easy, it's just okay, and I know I will get through it. Despite the discomfort, amazing things have happened to me over the past month. All in one night I went to a Broadway Inspiration Voices concert, which was basically like being in the Sister Act 2 movie, times 10, for 3 hours. It was so incredibly moving, and then from there I went to the Broadway Bares fundraiser for aids, which once again, made me remember that I am infact in New York City, and this kind of energy doesn't happen just anywhere. I am here for a reason, and it's never felt so right! Anyways, back to the reason this has all come up. Leo asked me how I was doing, and I said great. Awesome okay, nothing to crazy about that, but this is the beauty of feeling like you are exactly where you want to be, it's never a normal week. Even when I expect, from habits or the past, that it's just going to be a normal week, it never is. I saw to amazing shows last Sunday, and then on Tuesday, my life was once again transformed when I got picked from the Wicked lottery to see the show front row. I mean, come on. This is a show that I will be playing a role in as soon as possible. I absolutely loved it. The music, the acting, the staging, it's such a well oiled machine, and yet it has so much depth and heart. This is truly because everyone, and I mean everyone: from costume, to automation, to carpentry, to scenic design, to stage management, to actors, to choreographers, directors, and producers, to the guy who sweeps the stage before each show, it's all done with amazing passion and vigour. These people know they are apart of something extremely special. it's so much more than what we see on the stage. The magic is released because of all the behind the scenes people. Wow, it was such a magical experience. Something I will never forget!
Each week is never just normal. I also discovered the ability to drop into a circumstance when I sing a song. I never had a problem imagining things, but it's believing the situation your in that is my challenge. I know that it's not necessarily real, and even if it was, I would not let it phase me, so I wouldn't have to deal with emotion. I finally dropped in, and felt it, and it made everything better. This is the exciting work, I have been longing to be apart of. It's freaking amazing!! That is all i have to say.
I must get to bed, okay folks. ENJOY!!
TBC...
J
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